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Do You Believe Candace Owens?

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RESOURCES FOR CANDACE OWENS SUBSCRIBERS

0
people have admitted to believing Candace Owens on this page
(number is fake, much like her evidence)

We understand. Critical thinking is a skill, and not everyone got the DLC. Here are some resources tailored to your current level.

Estimating your IQ based on button selection...

⚠️ Content Advisory: Some of these resources contain facts, evidence, and basic logic. If you are allergic to any of these, consult a physician. Or don't. We're not your mom. Although she's probably also worried about you.

πŸ§ͺ Quick Assessment: How Far Gone Are You?

Answer honestly. (We know that's hard for you.)

What weapon was used to assassinate Charlie Kirk?

πŸ“š START HERE: THE BASICS

Urgent

"How to Tell If Something Is True" β€” A Guide for Adults

You'd think they'd cover this in school, but here we are. The Stanford History Education Group's free Civic Online Reasoning curriculum teaches lateral reading and source verification. It was designed for teenagers, so the reading level should be about right.

Science

No, the Sun Isn't Magic: Basic Astronomy for the Confused

Since Owens has publicly questioned whether the Earth revolves around the sun, you might also be unclear on this. NASA's Solar System Exploration page has pictures, which helps. The Earth goes around the sun. The sun is a star. Stars are not magic. We checked.

Life Skills

Understanding the Justice System: How Trials Work

Tyler Robinson has been charged with 10 counts including first-degree murder. The death penalty is being sought. There's a preliminary hearing May 18. This is how it works when someone actually commits a crime and there's actual evidence, as opposed to when someone commits a podcast and there's actual audacity. U.S. Courts explains it using small words.

Geography

Where Is France? And Other Questions You Shouldn't Need Answered

Multiple Owens claims involve France, Israel, and military bases in Arizona. Before you go connecting international dots, let's make sure you can find them on a map. This geography game is a good start. We'll wait. No rush. You've got nothing but time; your job probably already fired you for sharing conspiracy theories in the break room.

🧠 INTERMEDIATE: LOGICAL REASONING

Self-Help

"Why You Believe Things That Aren't True" β€” Cognitive Bias 101

It's not entirely your fault. Your brain is running buggy software from the Pleistocene era. This guide to cognitive biases explains why you feel so confident about things you're completely wrong about. Start with "confirmation bias." It's the one doing most of the damage. It's also why you're going to close this tab instead of reading the guide.

Philosophy

What "Evidence" Actually Means

Candace reading tea leaves on a podcast is not evidence. A stranger on Telegram saying "I heard from a source" is not evidence. Someone's wedding photos being "weird" is not evidence. Analyzing a widow's laughter five days after her husband's assassination and calling her a sociopath is not evidence; it's a thing you do when you've never had a real job. Here's our evidence standards page. Read it slowly. Sound out the big words if you need to.

Math

Understanding Probability, or: Why Everything Isn't a Conspiracy

Sometimes coincidences are just coincidences. Sometimes people act weird after their spouse is murdered. Sometimes podcasters are wrong. Khan Academy has a free probability course. You won't take it, but it exists. Kind of like the evidence against Robinson.

Media Literacy

How Podcasters Make Money Off Your Stupidity

Fun exercise: calculate how much money Candace Owens has made from the Kirk assassination content. Count the episodes. Estimate the ad revenue. Factor in the subscription fees. Now ask yourself: who benefits from keeping you afraid and confused? It's not "the deep state." It's the lady selling you a $9.99/month subscription to her opinions. Here's what "conflict of interest" means.

πŸ†˜ ADVANCED: GETTING HELP

Wellness

When the Algorithm Becomes Your Personality

If you've lost friends, alienated family, or find yourself arguing with strangers online about whether a grieving widow's laughter proves she orchestrated a murder, it might be time to talk to someone. Psychology Today's therapist finder can match you with a professional. Many accept insurance. Some even do sliding scale, because we know the Owens subscription already cleaned you out.

Social Skills

How to Apologize to Everyone You've Sent "Watch This!!!" Links To

You know who you are. You've sent at least one "BREAKING: Candace just EXPOSED everything πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯" message to a group chat. Your family has a separate group chat without you. Your coworkers eat lunch without you. Your ex blocked you after you explained, unprompted, why Erika Kirk's body language at the funeral was "suspicious." Here's how to apologize. Start with your mother. She's been through enough.

Reproductive Health

Family Planning Resources

If you've gotten this far in life believing that podcasters are more credible than court records, the responsible thing to do is consider whether you should be making more of you. Planned Parenthood offers a full range of contraceptive options. This is genuinely the most selfless thing you could do for the next generation. Think of it as your contribution to national security.

Career

Jobs That Don't Require Critical Thinking

Good news: the economy still has room for you. Consider careers where your inability to evaluate evidence won't cause harm:

  • Scarecrow (you're already good at standing in a field believing nonsense)
  • Speed bump (you're used to people going around you)
  • YouTube comment moderator (you're already there 18 hours a day)
  • Professional line-stander (requires zero independent thought)
  • Crash test dummy (finally, your head's durability becomes an asset)
International

Canada's Medical Assistance in Dying (MAID) Program

Look, we're not saying anything. We're just saying Canada has a very thorough program and the eligibility criteria have been expanding. Being terminally gullible isn't covered yet, but give it time. They're a progressive country. That's just a fact. We report facts here. It's sort of our whole thing.

Reading

Books for Your Journey

Some recommended reading for where you are in life:

  • "Thinking, Fast and Slow" by Daniel Kahneman β€” explains why you're like this
  • "The Demon-Haunted World" by Carl Sagan β€” science as a candle in the dark (you are the dark)
  • "Escaping the Rabbit Hole" by Mick West β€” literally written for people in your exact situation
  • "Why Does He Do That?" by Lundy Bancroft β€” about abusive relationships, which is what you have with this podcast
  • "Goodnight Moon" by Margaret Wise Brown β€” for when the big books are too much
  • "Everybody Poops" by Tarō Gomi β€” because honestly at this point we don't know what you do and don't understand
Spiritual

Prayers That Might Help

Since many Owens supporters identify as Christian, here's a prayer for your specific situation:

"Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the court records I cannot change, the courage to close the podcast app, and the wisdom to know the difference between evidence and a lady yelling into a microphone for ad revenue. Amen."
Still here? The fact that you clicked "Yes, I think she's onto something" and then read this entire page suggests there might be hope for you yet. Consider this your sign. Close the podcast app. Go outside. Touch grass. The sun is real and it won't hurt you (well, SPF 50, but that's a different conversation for a different day). Your family misses you. Not the online "family" in the comment section. Your actual family. The ones who stopped inviting you to Thanksgiving.

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